I really like you. The problem is you don’t tell me anything and act like you couldn’t be more bored with me. I feel like there is someone else. Maybe there isn’t, but this is what happens when you leave me to my own devices. My imagination can think up a million excuses as to how I could be wrong and a million ways of how I could be right. All you need to do is talk to me. Are you trying to get me to break up with you? Why wouldn’t you break up with me? Why keep me around? You wanted this from the beginning and I ended up caring more than I thought. I know we have our own stuff to do and we aren’t the first priority to each other, but you havent kissed me in what feels like 2 weeks. My gut thinks something is wrong and I am usually right about these things.
I want to forget someone. I don’t hate this person. It’s actually the opposite, which is the reason why I want to forget her. I’m becoming a bit sick of her posts about how happy she is with someone else. I know how that sounds, but it’s annoyingly gross, especially from the person in question. The problem is if I delete her number and unfriend her on our shared networks, I know it’ll become a small and embarrassing drama.
You see someone being happy with someone else and you wish that that someone else was you. Then you wonder why they bother with you like they do. And you realize that everyone needs somebody to set them straight, to guide them. As certain as you are, you have to come to terms with the possibility that you were never meant to be with this person and they have found their soul mate. This is not a game anymore where they could break up and you have a chance. They’re in it for the long haul. Finally, you think that there is someone out there for you right now. Maybe you know them, maybe you don’t. They could be in a different state, a different country, or maybe they’re not. They’ve probably been through some serious stuff or maybe they’re as innocent as the day they were born. Either way, your soul mate is out there. I wonder what mine is doing right now.
Everything has been said before. I want a better life. My life isn’t bad, it’s just the same. Everyday is a loop. I’m in a shallow fish bowl where nothing happens. I have a friend who moved to Haiti to help people. She’s traveling and experiencing the world. She left this place and everything is new to her. I’m inspired, but I’m still stuck. We complain about the traffic and our phones not being able to download some stupid show and we ask where the next party is. I can’t even write a stupid argumentative paper that’s due tomorrow. What am I doing with my life?
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